Do your friends describe you as "weirdly calm in a crisis" and "probably the one who would survive the zombie apocalypse"?
Have you ever thought, "This situation is a bit of a dumpster fire... but I'm the one with the fire extinguisher and a decent joke"?
Buddy Support Services is hiring. We need people who know that sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is look at the chaos and say, "Well, that's suboptimal."
Let's Skip the Fluff (We Prefer Dark Roast Coffee)
This job isn't about rainbows and butterflies. It's about finding the laugh that's hiding in the sheer, ridiculous absurdity of life. It's for people who understand that dark humour isn't mean-spirited; it's a life raft made of irony.
Your Title: Glorified Grown-Up & Keeper of Sanity (Mostly Your Own)
Your Mission, Should You Choose To Accept It:
* Advanced Logic & Reasoning: Explaining for the seventh time why we can't pay the electricity bill with a well-written poem or a strongly worded complaint about the weather.
* Crisis Jujitsu: Politely and effectively de-escalate situations ranging from "The wrong flavour of pudding was purchased" to a full-blown philosophical debate about why birds exist.
* Diplomatic Relations: Mediating a tense, 45-minute standoff between a client and their houseplant. (Spoiler: The plant usually wins.)
* Improvised Comedy: Keeping a straight face while being solemnly informed that the government is replacing the rain with "listening devices."
* Moral Support & Mild Deception: Agreeing that yes, their 1998 hairdo was truly ahead of its time.
You're Our Missing Piece If You:
* Have the patience of a bomb disposal expert who is also being read a bedtime story by a sloth.
* Possess a sense of humour that could be described as "slightly corrosive, but in a fun way."
* Can find a silver lining in a thundercloud, even if that lining is just "Well, at least we didn't get struck by lightning. Yet."
* Understand that "It's always darkest before the dawn" is usually followed by " then you stub your toe on the way to the bathroom."
* Believe that a little bit of sarcasm is just empathy, with a flavour.
What We Offer (The Real Talk):
* Competitive Compensation: We pay you money. You can use it to buy things that make you forget the day, like industrial-strength coffee or a very large hat.
* Flexible Hours: Because we assume your sleep schedule is already a fascinating mess.
* Top-Tier Training: We'll certify you in all the serious stuff. The rest—like how to discreetly dispose of a "medicinal" potion made from gravy and glitter—you'll learn on the job.
* A Truly Unshockable Team: Work with people who won't bat an eye if you say, "My client tried to pay the cat today," and will just reply, "Did it accept?"
* A Strange Sense of Purpose: Go home each day knowing you were the sane one in someone's beautifully chaotic world. It's a low bar, but you cleared it with style.
Convinced You're Morally Flexible Enough For This?
Job Types: Casual, Graduate
Pay: $32.00 – $45.00 per hour
Expected hours: No less than 10 per week
Benefits:
* Employee mentoring program
* Gym membership
* Professional development assistance
* Travel reimbursement
Work Location: In person